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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25888801">born again with each sunrise</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/allapplesfall/pseuds/allapplesfall'>allapplesfall</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Station 19 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(ryan and herrera), Episode: s03e15 Bad Guy, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Scene Rewrite, maya and andy!! actually get!! to be friends!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:48:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25888801</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/allapplesfall/pseuds/allapplesfall</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“No,” Maya snarls, and now she stands up. She raises her voice. “You do not get to turn your dad into a bad guy. You won the <em>lottery</em> of dads. And now, just because he died, you are gonna tear down his memory ‘cuz it’s easier than coping with the loss of him? No! I am not gonna stand by and watch you do that, not to my captain.”</p><p>Andy’s chest tightens. “Not to <em>your</em> captain? Maya, he was my dad.”</p><p>“Yeah!” She spits her words like venom. “And you should count yourself lucky.” She storms to the door.</p><p>“Count myself lucky?” Andy snaps. “What are we talking about right now? Because, I’m sorry, it sure as hell doesn’t feel like the same thing.”</p><p>(A scene rewrite for Maya and Andy in 3x15.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andy Herrera &amp; Maya Bishop</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>born again with each sunrise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay! So, I finished the entirety of S19 season 3 in 48 hours. Don't write fic, I told myself. Don't do it. And then I did this, because Maya and Andy deserved to be the friends they keep telling us they are, and the fact that they hardly shared a civil word together all season made me mad. </p><p>Implications of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLLFYl_piqE&amp;t=26s">this</a> scene rewrite include! Maya doesn't sleep with Jack. She probably still goes home and gets in an argument with Carina, and maybe tries to push her away, but there's no need to throw a cheating plot in there.</p><p>Title from 100 Years by Florence + the Machine! Because I thought it was great that it was used in 3x16.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Andy, you know who your dad was, we all do.”</p><p>“Do we? Or do we just know the version of him that– that he wanted us to see?”</p><p>“No,” Maya snarls, and now she stands up. She raises her voice. “You do <em>not </em>get to turn your dad into a bad guy. You won the <em>lottery</em> of dads. And now, just because he died, you are gonna tear down his memory ‘cuz it’s easier than coping with the loss of him? No! I am not gonna stand by and watch you do that, not to my captain.”</p><p>Andy’s chest tightens. “Not to <em>your </em>captain? Maya, he was my dad.”</p><p>“Yeah!” She spits her words like venom. “And you should count yourself lucky.” She storms to the door.</p><p>“Count myself lucky?” Andy snaps. “What are we talking about right now? Because, I’m sorry, it sure as hell doesn’t feel like the same thing.”</p><p>Maya turns back to her, face flushed. Her breaths come faster than they should, even after a workout. “I said what I said.”</p><p>Her voice has a too-high edge. Her eyes skip around—Andy’s face, her shoulder, the wall. Andy had thought this conversation was escalating too quickly before, too intense for no reason, even for Maya, but now—</p><p>Now she knows something’s wrong.</p><p>And fuck it, part of her doesn’t care. She shouldn’t! Andy has lost her father and her– Ryan in a very short amount of time. The entire world hurts, and now she’s realizing that her dad’s been hiding—that her father <em>had hidden</em> something from her for her whole life. Something about her mom, who (for the record!) is also dead. And her heart aches so bad and her head pounds and all she needs is for Maya to be the friend she’d promised to be for five fucking minutes. Is that so hard?</p><p>Apparently, it is, because Maya just spent the back end of their conversation telling her that she won the fucking lottery.</p><p>But another part of her rewinds the last few seconds. What had Maya been mad about? Andy marring her memory of Captain Pruitt Herrera? Andy saying that her dad might have been a bad guy?</p><p>Why would <em>that</em> be the thing to set Maya off like this?</p><p>“Maya, what the hell is with you?”</p><p>“Nothing!” Her arm spreads in an expressive jab and her eyes flash with angry tears and yup, this is a bona fide Maya Bishop freak-out. Andy’s been her friend too damn long not to recognize it.</p><p>Andy steps forward. “Hey. You said you cared about me. That you would be here when I stopped being angry with you. And I’m not angry at you anymore. But now you’re kinda making me angry again, so would you sit the fuck down and talk to me?”</p><p>“I don’t–“ And Maya swallows, looking away. Andy can almost see her weighing her options, itching to push Andy away just like she pushes everyone away when she can’t handle getting too close to her feelings. “I don’t <em>want</em> to talk, I <em>can’t </em>talk. I just need everybody to shut up about dads!”</p><p>“Shut up about–” For a moment, Andy flares again, because <em>seriously</em>, her dad just died. And her so-called best friend doesn’t want to let her talk about it? Then she takes a breath. “Maya, did something happen with <em>your</em> dad?”</p><p>Maya’s face creases and her fists ball. “Back off, Herrera.”</p><p>Andy can read the answer plain across her face.</p><p>Well, shit.</p><p>She’s never liked Maya’s dad. Not that she really knows him—he’s just the kind of guy that comes across really hateable in practically every story Maya tells about him. What kind of parent makes their kid wake up early every single day, and splashes freezing water on her if she doesn’t? What kind of parent teaches their kid that it’s never okay to miss a day, not even if you’re hurt or sick? What kind of parent <em>doesn’t hear losers</em>?</p><p>What kind of parent instills fucked up enough values that their kid talks about those things like they’re acceptable?</p><p>The Lane Bishop kind of parent, that’s who.</p><p>Maya comes home from Thanksgivings and Christmases more serious, more keyed-up. She snaps easier, defers to authority quicker, lays into herself more. Andy’s noticed these things, has tried to bring them up, but Maya gets defensive. She credits her dad with making her an Olympian, for giving her the grit that makes her a damn good firefighter. She makes excuses for him. She takes any criticism of him like an attack on her instead.</p><p>And Andy’s never been in the business of digging into her friends’ scars and running her fingernails through the stitches, so she hasn’t pushed.</p><p>“Maya,” she says, gentler now. “We don’t have to talk about it. Just don’t ice me out. I,” she swallows. “I can’t take that right now.”</p><p>Maya’s fury gutters like a windblown candle. She flicks her eyes to the ceiling and blinks hard. “Yeah,” she says shortly. “Yeah, fine.”</p><p>“Sit with me?” She can see a reflexive refusal spurting to the surface, so she adds, “Please?”</p><p>Maya takes one breath, then another. She thins her lips. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because,” she takes another breath, “I’m really pissed.”</p><p>“At me?”</p><p>Maya jerks her head sideways in a negative. “No.”</p><p>“Okay. Okay. We can work with that.”</p><p>“Work with– You shouldn’t have to work with anything! You’ve got so much going on and– I’m fine!”</p><p>“Alright, you’re fine. But pissed.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“We can take this to your yelling closet. You know, where we normally work things out when you’re fine and pissed.”</p><p>“I–” Maya brings her hands up above her head like she’s clearing her airway. “God.” She pauses, eyes trained on the wall. “I need everything to stop. How come it never does that? How come nothing ever stops?”</p><p>Andy’s heart breaks a little bit. “I know,” she says, because she does.</p><p>“Why can’t <em>I </em>ever stop?”</p><p>“Let’s go sit down,” she says again. This time Maya follows her back into the gym. They sink down to the gross sweat-smelling ground, backs against the wall.</p><p>“I wish you would fight me more,” Maya says, and it’s more honest than angry. “I’m in the mood to fight someone and wreck everything.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Andy says. “I noticed.”</p><p>Maya looks at her sharply, then huffs. “Yeah,” she says, tipping her head back on the wall. “I guess you would’ve.”</p><p>“It’s not too late to call the squad back in. You can scream at us and make us workout till we puke.” She tries for a teasing tone, but Maya flinches.</p><p>“I never thought I’d be that.” A muscle in her jaw tightens. “That was always him. I never thought I’d be that.”</p><p>Something hard and sour settles in Andy’s stomach. Because—oh.</p><p>Maya’s strictness. Maya’s tension. Maya’s harsh, self-critical, perfectionistic edge.</p><p>She lets the quiet stretch.</p><p>“You’re not gonna ask?”</p><p>Andy shrugs. “You said you didn’t wanna talk about it. I’ve had enough people recently talking at me about stuff I’m not ready to talk about to do that to you. I’m just sitting here.”</p><p>Maya blows air out, long and slow. “I missed you,” she admits. Andy glances over and sees tears in her eyes.</p><p>“Good,” Andy says.</p><p>“Good?”</p><p>She nudges her side. “Yeah, ‘cuz I missed you too. I don’t wanna be the only one, that’s depressing.”</p><p>Maya lets out a noise that one day, if it works very, very hard, might become a laugh. “I’m a mess.”</p><p>“That’s okay.” Andy holds up her envelope, her photos of her parents, and waggles them. “Me too.”</p><p>A tear trails down Maya’s cheek. “Carina’s at my house.”</p><p>Andy blinks. “Right now?”</p><p>“Right now.”</p><p>“Damn.”</p><p>“I said I was going for a run. I had to… I had to get out.”</p><p>“So, like Maya Bishop does, you picked your tight-ass up and ran all the way to work.”</p><p>Maya’s lip quirks up. “Yeah. Yeah, I did, didn’t I?”</p><p>Andy smiles. “Jesus.”</p><p>They stare out at the workout equipment. The weights, the mirrors, the mats.</p><p>“What’re you gonna do?”</p><p>“I don’t know. You’re kind of putting a dent in my ‘spin violently out of control’ plan.”</p><p>“It’s not too late. We can go set you loose in Dixon’s office right now.”</p><p>Maya scrubs at her eyes. “Yeah, I can really see myself punching him today.”</p><p>“He deserves it."</p><p>“Oh, for sure.” Maya shifts, sobering again. “I don’t know what to do.”</p><p>Andy exhales. It comes out shakier than she means it to. “Me neither.”</p><p>“You really think your dad was hiding something about your mom?”</p><p>Her heart clenches. “I don’t know. Maybe.”</p><p>“That sucks.”</p><p>“That seems to be the motto of my life at the moment.”</p><p>Maya leans her shoulder into hers. “I’m sorry I haven’t been there. I’m sorry.”</p><p>Andy looks at her friend—her messy, wound-up, wrecked friend. “I’m sorry, too. Sorry I didn’t…see there was something going on with you.”</p><p>“Nothing’s going on, I’m–”</p><p>“Fine?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Uh-huh. So you aren’t panicking ‘cuz there’s a beautiful OB waiting in your house right now.”</p><p>Maya closes her eyes. “I hate you.”</p><p>“Go ahead, hate me.”</p><p>“No, see, this is where you’re supposed to fight me.”</p><p>“I’m too tired for that, Maya.”</p><p>Maya swallows, looking down at her lap. “Yeah.”</p><p>“Want me to give you a ride back to your place?”</p><p>“No, you– you wanted to look through old files. I can show you where those are.”</p><p>Andy frowns. “You sure?”</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah.” Maya sets her game face back on, brushing some loose strands of hair behind her ear. “Maybe by the time I run home I’ll figure out what to say.”</p><p>“You think you will?”</p><p>She pushes herself up to her feet and offers Andy her hand. Andy takes it and lets herself be hauled up. “Probably not.”</p><p>Andy opens her arms. Maya steps into them. They give each other tight, heartfelt squeezes.</p><p>“I’m here for you,” Andy murmurs. And then, even though she knows Maya won’t, she adds, “You need me, you call.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Maya says. “Same here.”</p><p>“Okay, now go take a shower,” Andy teases. “You stink.”</p><p>Maya breaks the hug, looking entirely unapologetic. “If I’m running home, there’s no point. Besides—I think I have some files to show you.”</p><p>Andy forces a smile, feeling like she’s taking a few more steps towards an airplane door she’s not sure she wants to parachute out of. “Yeah.”</p><p>They leave the gym together.</p><p>A guy from B-shift sits on the bench outside, fiddling with boxing wraps on his hands.</p><p>“You waiting for something?” Maya asks, voice still a little too sharp.</p><p>The guy shrugs. “It seemed like you were having a moment.”</p><p>And yeah, Andy thinks. They were.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading!! Let me know what you think &lt;33</p></blockquote></div></div>
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